2007 Goes Down Smooth

The lack of new content on the site lately stems from a lack of motivation. Enter The Motivator! I’ve seen the above image more than a couple times in the past month and it finally struck me as being just what I needed to put something together for the website.

For my final post of 2007, I know I could talk about the wedding back in November (which was a total blast, by the way), or drama associated with selling a set of cams online, or Christmas, or even the typical new year’s resolutions, but I think I’ll focus on something more important. “Lambo doors.” Or, more appropriately, “Lame-O Doors.”

The sad fact of the aftermarket tuner culture is that, upon someone, somewhere coming up with a fresh new idea for a show car, thousands of slack-ass morons feel the need to do the same exact thing to their shitty, run-down grocery-getters. These clueless dullards are incapable of comprehending just how irritating their futile efforts at car customization look to the rest of the world. The ham-fisted installation of mass-produced body kit components which were hastily designed to capitalize on the latest trend is to blame for the continuation of the negative “ricer” stigma pinned to the shirt of the sport compact community.

I really hate lame-o doors. I hate them with the very fiber of my being. Not so much because they are modeled after super-exotic Italian grand tourers, not because they make opening and closing the door awkward, not even because they cost so much. Mostly, I hate them because so many of the people who install them on their cars will spend upwards of a thousand dollars on hinges and struts to make them work, but will then ask you, upon being quoted less than three hundred dollars for a complete body kit, if there is anything cheaper. It absolutely incenses me that someone would piss away all kinds of money on lame-o door hinges for their car, only to get the cheapest, most generic fiberglass or Ebay parts elsewhere. Die in a fire, already!

Those ridiculous doors mounted on nondescript commuter cars are hideous beyond ignorant. The people pointing or looking at cars with those doors fitted are not jealous, nor are they offering compliments out of earshot. They are sharing the horror of bearing witness to something so flagrantly ignorant and macabre. This shallow attempt at style can’t fade fast enough. 2007, on the other hand? Well, 2007 goes down smooth.