Or should be.

By now, anyone interested in cars has seen pictures of this little runabout Aston Martin has suddenly decided they need to make. There were rumors that this was all just a joke, but it turns out it is not. And that’s a shame.

For some, this is an exciting idea.  For some, this is possibly an affordable Aston Martin for the masses, but it’s not.  It’s merely a Toyota iQ with an Aston Martin body kit.    I’m not suggesting the car won’t look great, but it’s the thought of a brand whose rich history of fine craftsmanship and taste is about to “jump the shark” by deciding to build a body kit for the smallest car Toyota makes.  Makes me wince with embarrassment.

It understandable that Aston Martin will find themselves strangled by the European equivalent of our American CAFE standards and, without other brands in its stable to average things out, could find itself unable to sell their brilliant super cars, but why choose a Toyota like this?  The iQ is wonderful on it’s own, after all!

Nothing against Toyota, known ’round the world for reliability and clean, if not bland, styling, but aren’t there other British brands that could be used?  If Aston Martin was owned by Ford and Ford had a piece of Mazda, wouldn’t it make much more sense for them to look into building a smaller, more fuel efficient and affordable car based on the Miata?  Surely there are still connections there!  Why aren’t they using the money they’ve spent on development of this Cygnet (or the Lagonda for that matter) to resurrect MG?  It just doesn’t make sense.

So, to show my own personal distaste for this shameful travesty of management, I’ve hastily thrown together a couple other joke cars against which I see the Cygnet possibly competing.  Take them with a grain of salt.  My Photoshop skills are a bit rusty and I spent less than 20 minutes on each of these.

The Konigsegg Camry CCX Hybrid

The Ferrari 42GT

The Lamborghini Cobalt SV

(That last one is particularly hideous, imo.)  I hope this goes to show how some of us are feeling about this wee little sprite they’re calling the Cygnet.  Part of the fascination with the super car is the precision and power of relatively unobtainable machines.  To take classic design cues from moving works of art which we might consider as having souls, and apply them to otherwise stock commuter cars does an immeasurable amount of damage to the brand.  It cheapens the dream.

Dr (Rockso) Bez might want to be careful that James Bond doesn’t get word of this project.  You wouldn’t catch him dead in one of these.  In fact, he might even be waiting for you in a dark corner of your office with his PPK.  I’m sorry, but to those of us who truly love Aston Martin, you might as well replace that picture of the Cygnet with the following.  t’s just as painful.

In the glovebox:

• The Aston Martin DBM?
• Lithe, Elegant, Swift – The 2010 Jaguar XJ
• Gimme a Reason